i totally detest this side of myself. the freaking competitive side. to tell the truth, i'm studying for bio right now, because i don't wanna lose to others. i've probably put in more effort in subjects i'm better in, than those i'm weak in. it's such a superficial.. thing. don't know what to fill in there.

i love bio as a subject, but right now, i'm not studying for blocks for the love of it, but only because i don't wanna lose out. i am a freaking sore loser omg. hate hate hate it. i should just give up right now, cause i don't think it'll make much of a difference cramming several hundred pages of information into my cramped brain would make much of a difference anyway.


/edit. thanks.

Contentment is trusting God in the toughest times.

Labels: blocks, God, rants

OR



joel's so inspirational. idk but i felt like tearing after he spoke to us D:

anyway i realised i've been back from retreat and stuff alr but haven't felt up to blogging. don't think i'll blog about retreat and the past week, just too lazy, but basically last week's summed up into frisbee, mug, play, sleep.

Labels: God

off to retreat in a few hours, where i get to enjoy comfy beds and the word of God (:

at the expense of several things though :/ oh well! no idea what to expect there ><

Labels: God

haha omg i'm quite happy now after cell cause my cell kids were so full of nonsense (: although there were only three of them today, they didn't fail to make my day today. for the first time, they volunteered to read verses and they totally made the lesson way more interesting with their rubbish!

come to think of it, i wanted to upload this long ago, but i always never found time to. now, as a form of appreciation, i shall take time off my 192 pages of bio notes which i have not touched to display some of their incredible artwork (:

DANIEL 7:

4 "The first was like a lion, and it had the wings of an eagle. I watched until its wings were torn off and it was lifted from the ground so that it stood on two feet like a man, and the heart of a man was given to it.



5 "And there before me was a second beast, which looked like a bear. It was raised up on one of its sides, and it had three ribs in its mouth between its teeth. It was told, 'Get up and eat your fill of flesh!'



6 "After that, I looked, and there before me was another beast, one that looked like a leopard. And on its back it had four wings like those of a bird. This beast had four heads, and it was given authority to rule.



7 "After that, in my vision at night I looked, and there before me was a fourth beast—terrifying and frightening and very powerful. It had large iron teeth; it crushed and devoured its victims and trampled underfoot whatever was left. It was different from all the former beasts, and it had ten horns.

Labels: God

was just thinking about how amazing it was that on the very first day i stepped into church, i accepted the Lord. since then, been growing slowly in my spiritual life. more amazingly, the person who brought me to church wasn't someone whom i knew much about at that time, but someone i barely knew much about!

i think it was more than a coincidence at that time. it was all laid out, for me to just decide to go to church with an almost complete stranger. for me to just raise my hand to accept Christ into my life, even though i knew absolutely nothing. it was all planned from the start, on the 26th Feb 2007.

my life was changed that very day, because i chose to accept the Lord's plan for my life. are you willing to take a step of faith and believe in Him too?

feel free to contact me any way you wish if you're interested (:

Labels: God

rhema was a blast! was a time of spiritual revival (:

logistics team was far from perfect, accompanied with last minute decisions and several clashes along the way. however, we were still superb! the bonding within the team, the willingness to sacrifice sleep and showers just to make sure everything was done up, was really really heartening (of course everyone had their lazy moments though). together with games and registration committee, this year's rhema was really such an enjoyable experience.

the work of God was really really amazing. the souls saved, the people touched, all by His glory and grace.

Labels: God

in the midst of being caught up with work, with complaints, and with countless desperate attempts to take matters into my own hands, i've realised once again that i shouldn't be the one deciding my own fate at all. in these two weeks i've missed church, work definitely wasn't a legitimate excuse, because nothing should take a higher priority than God.

and so while trying to change things myself, i've conveniently tried to do everything myself, without prayers, without anything at all. even my quiet time's reduced to the several minutes before i turn in to bed, as if it was an obligation, and not a choice of my own free will. and so for the past weeks, or even months, what i've really been doing is living in an outer shell, while really i was struggling spiritually inside.

perhaps it was why everything went downhill for me, results, relationships, nothing went well no matter how much effort i put in. and well, He has just spoken to my heart through grace's and nicole's blogposts. and while typing this post and labelling it, i realise how long it has ever since God has taken the centre, the main priority of my life.

it's time to give it back to you, God.

Labels: God

damn it damn it damn it. why do i feel so damn stressed. why do my parents just keep walking in and out of the room no matter what i'm doing, and just coming in to nag and stress me even more. it just freaking makes me lose the mood to mug, and to concentrate. it's not like i know it's a crucial period right now, i don't freaking need you to walk in twice or thrice a day to remind me, or to ask me how my results and ACE are three times a day.

and it doesn't help that some of my closest ones feel so distant away. maybe it's cause of exams and promos as well, but i don't even feel close to them anymore. i can't even strike a conversation anymore, without getting ignored. thanks alot for all the support.

i feel damn horrible too, for not going to church for two weeks in a row already. freak you studies. or maybe it's just your own problem nelson, you just need to have your own self discipline to drag yourself to church no matter how busy you are, cause God's above everything.

Labels: family, friends, God, rants, studies

i wouldn't call myself perfect in any sense, but my heart cried out to those who responded to the alter call today, of the difference in behaviour of Christians and non-Christians.

i remember how i was a year back, childish and immature, and extremely demanding in my requests, not to mention extremely self-centred. i wouldn't say i've eradicated all of these traits, but i can safely say that i have improved greatly ever since that period of my life. just a year back, i faced the very same conviction these fellow brothers and sisters who were kneeling down were receiving. i remember how hard it tugged at my heartstrings, how guilt-stricken i was, and how painful it hurt within.

as Christians, our actions are often stereotyped and judged upon by others. more often than not, we are seen upon as perfect and free of sin. however difficult it is for them to accept that even us as Christians are able to make mistakes, we should still try to glorify our God by the use of our actions, for our God is often judged because of our inappropriate behaviour. man being mankind, many are often unable to tell apart that God does not cause sin.

a plea for all Christians out there: to act in a manner which would bring glory to our God by our actions. do not follow blindly, do not jump on the bandwagon, but to differentiate between right and wrong before doing. do not be afraid to go against the flow of the river, be like the salmon, willing to brave the waterfalls in order to achieve its aims.

and do not remain angry, because a heart full of anger and hatred, has no space for forgiveness, and for the unfailing love of God.

Labels: God

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Labels: God

bleah, i haven't been into the blogging mood in the late, so i seek your forgiveness in depriving you of entertaining yourself with monotonous information :/

currently going through alot of problems and challenges right now, and i really feel like giving up at times, but i'm dragging myself through them no matter how painful, how arduous the journey is. at least i know that i'm not there alone, but God's always there with me even when i don't seek Him. i wouldn't mind if you kept me in prayer though (:

i notice a lack of fluency in my post today.

Labels: God, rants

okay, so i've completed my geog exam and chem test. guess what? two more upcoming this coming friday! physics and bio ):

physics

term one work
term two work
kinematics
mechanics

biology

nutrients
nutrition
ecology
micro-organisms and genetic engineering

also, if you happen to have time, take a look at this video of Team Hoyt, a rather touching story of a father and son, here. it just got me thinking that if an earthly father could sacrifice so much for his son, what more our Heavenly Father, who was cruxified on the cross for us. anyways, i think i'm going to run short of time again, since i've been procrastinating again -.-

Labels: God, studies

ENCHANTED
hidden beneath, in those eyes of mine.

bold italic underline link

nel
hwa chong institution
16 years old
nov 06 1992
christian